Humbug Alert
by 0074
Summary: A little modern Pride & Prejudice Christmas humour, featuring a grinchy, grumpy Will Darcy.


_A little modern Pride & Prejudice Christmas humour_

* * *

Will Darcy was not impressed. When his best friend first mentioned hosting a Christmas party, Will had agreed to be there despite his aversion to participating in social events. In his wisdom Charlie had decided, just a week ago, that it might be fun to make it a costume party, something to "get everyone into the spirit of the season."

Dressing up in some inane costume was the last thing Will wanted to do, but he couldn't find it in himself to disappoint his friend, who was one of the few people Will felt he could rely upon. Unfortunately the demands of work over the past week negated the opportunity for him to find himself an acceptable costume. He was instead relegated to seeking his sister's assistance on the last Friday before Christmas, the day of the party. She was given strict instructions.

"Nothing tacky. No ratty white beards. No tinsel. No elf ears."

"That doesn't leave a lot to choose from," griped Georgie.

"I'd rather not have to wear a costume in the first place, but Charlie insisted and I don't really want to be the odd one out. Please just find me something that will fly under the radar."

"What about a reindeer jumper?"

Will looked at her like she was crazy.

"You know, like in _Bridget Jones' Diary_? Mark Darcy wears these natty Christmas-themed jumpers his mother gives him every year. His last name is even the same. Mark Darcy, Will Darcy," She grinned. "It would be great."

"No. No reindeer jumpers. Zero. Zilch. Nada. None."

Georgie made a face. "Wi-ill! That narrows the field even more. Do you want me to help or not?"

"Yes, of course. I can't do it myself, particularly not when the party is tonight." He ran his hands through his hair in frustration. "Please, Georgie. You know I don't enjoy these things, and this crazy fancy-dress idea of Charlie's just makes it worse."

"Okay, okay. I'll do my best."

"Thank you," he said, and kissed her on the cheek. "I owe you."

"That you do, but I can't work miracles, Will."

"Got to go. I'm already late," he said, slipping on his suit jacket and reaching for the door handle. "I won't have a lot of time tonight. I'll probably only make it home in time to change and disappear again."

So as Will left for work at eight in the morning, Georgie sat down at her computer to start searching for Christmas costumes. By half past ten she had found some likely selections and left the house on a mission.

* * *

When Will arrived home from work with little time to spare, Christmas carols were reverberating at full volume from Georgie's bedroom. Will rolled his eyes and made for his study to offload his laptop, then went straight to his own room. Opening the door, a flash of colour immediately caught his eye.

Laid out on his bed Will saw the most horrendous green suit. Lime green. With pinstripes. And a red tie.

"Georgie!" He roared. "What the hell were you thinking?!"

There was no response, so Will strode down the hallway towards Georgie's bedroom. He knocked loudly, but when there was still no response he barged in. Georgie was at her desk, tapping away on her computer, and didn't notice she had company until he stopped the music.

"Will, you're back."

"I am. I have to be at the Charlie's in less than an hour. What the hell is that monstrosity on my bed?"

"Your costume."

"I got that. Why?"

"You didn't leave me with a lot of options. I had twelve hours to find something, and the Grinch was it."

"How does the Grinch meet the criteria I gave you?"

"It's low key."

"Hardly. It's green!"

"And?"

"I'm not wearing a green suit!"

"You wanted a costume, and that's what you got. Unless you're prepared to go as Santa Claus or an elf, that's all that's left. Besides, I think it's rather fitting given the mood you've been in."

He glared at her. "You can't expect me to walk into the party wearing that!"

"Why not? You wanted something that wasn't tacky, and the Grinch suit is classy. You'll be reeling the girls in."

"I don't want to reel the girls in. I don't _need_ to reel them in. I have enough trouble keeping them away as it is."

"You're such a drama queen. Go and put the suit on and see what it looks like."

Will looked like he'd swallowed a thunderstorm, but he disappeared back to his bedroom, and half an hour later slammed the front door behind him.

* * *

_TBC (I think). _

_Thanks for reading.  
_


End file.
